Last night I decided to ask my daughter for a few minutes of her time so that I can have a serious conversation with her. I didn't think that the time for me to have the talk with my little girl was ever going to come. I had to realize that although she will always be my little girl to others she is now a teenager and it is a matter of time that I'm going to have to pull out my shotgun (just kidding I don't own a gun but my hands are considered lethal). Reading Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World made me realize that if I didn't talk to her than she would get her information from some smooth talking teen or from her friends who probably get all their information from shows like "Gossip Girl"
I kept my conversation very simple. I simply told her all men are pigs and save yourself for marriage. Okay not that simple but going into it that's all I wanted to say. I have taught my kids using myself as an example so that I hope they can relate and take my advice to heart. I wish my parents would have talked to me more about it but growing up and reaching my teens it seemed perfectly fine to lose your virginity. I lost mine by the 9th grade and that's the same grade my daughter is going to be in next year. This might be a shocker to most men but yes I wish I had saved myself.
The following is why I wish I would have saved myself and what I shared with my daughter. When we start to have feelings for the opposite sex you start to realize changes in your body. As a young boy you begin to get aroused and then talking to your immature friends you then believe that you must go out and have a conquest. I had one girlfriend throughout high school and I believe one of the reasons why was because once I had sex that is all I could think about. Why get to know other girls when I knew where sex was readily available to me. Once the relationship became about sex it was all about sex to me, the boy. I can't speak for girls and how they feel and I am not going to try to do that to my daughter. Hopefully her aunt will talk to her.
"Your virginity is something special and should be shared with someone special, preferably your husband", where the final words I told her. We also went over dating guidelines and how she should only seek relationships with boys that add value to her life. My daughter is a very smart girl and she was more concerned on why she can't date until she's 16 (2 years away). She felt better when I told her that she can go out with groups of friends and the 16 year old rule is to go out on a 1 on 1 date.
In the end I am glad that I had started the talk. I say started cause I know it is not over. At least now she knows that she can talk to me. My baby is growing up and I have come to terms with that. I only hope that she will take some of the lessons that I've learned from my mistakes and make better decisions than I did.
She'll always be Daddy's little girl.