Melancholy Moments

I know by now most people believe in the benefits of positive thinking. I am constantly trying to learn techniques that can help me develop daily rituals so that I am always positive. Am I crazy for thinking it's possible? Well maybe just a little but I have more and more people that depend on me to be positive so that I can help them find the brighter side. So what about those melancholy moments?

Don't tell me you have not experienced those times where you are just feeling down but you can not manage to put your finger on why you are feeling that way. People come up to you and continue to ask what's wrong and you don't have an answer. They press and press because they either want to be helpful or want some gossip but you really don't have the answer. It starts to build momentum and soon it's like a giant snowball of negativity. It use to happen to me a lot. I can list a number of things that have gone wrong in my life but why list them cause I know it is not the reason why I am feeling that way. I have decided to stop trying to figure out why and focus more on how to change my attitude because in the end it is a choice.

My daily ritual now includes the following; from the moment I wake up I give thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ for giving me a chance at living another day so that I can try to make a difference in this world and I can fulfill the purpose that I have been put on this earth. I read some scriptures with the kids before dropping them off at school. I then go workout so that I can take care of my body and feel good about myself. Now what about those times when you are blindsided and all of a sudden you are feeling melancholy again. We sometimes go through life and we try to treat our social needs by treating ourselves to something nice, maybe dinner, a movie, or a purchase. These always seem to be quick fixes and do not last long. When money was tight I just did not have that option anymore so I had to figure something else out. I realized that a random act of kindness gets me over it quick. I am not a doctor but I am sure that the fact that helping someone makes me smile has some kind of health benefit to myself and the ability to change my attitude to one of gratitude. Give it a try and do something for someone.

Happy Thanksgiving 2010!!!

It is that time of year again when we get some time off to gather with friends and family to reflect on everything we have and not what we don't have. The simple fact that I am in the United States and able to write a blog means that I am better off than most of the world. Sure there are times when I want more and might feel bad because I don't have more but then I realize that I need to continue to show gratitude that my needs are being met.
There are people out there that are having extreme difficulties meeting their basic needs. Some people do not have family or friends to have Thanksgiving dinner with and these holidays become very difficult to handle. Please remember the impact and influence that you can have on many. I know times have been tough and we are not always in the position to give monetarily but it doesn't always have to be a monetary gift. Share a smile, greet someone, or pick up an extra 99 cent sandwich and hand it over to that guy or girl you see standing at the freeway exit. We can all do a little bit to make a difference in some one's life.
We have more entertainment options available to us today than we ever have had, yet we still hear kids say they are bored. I have noticed that my kids do not say that as much after we have volunteered somewhere to help the less fortunate. I believe the reason why is that it is very fulfilling when we help others.  That kind of service really fills the soul. A person I consider my mentor, Zig Ziglar, always says "you can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want out of life." It might sound a little selfish but if you are helping others than does it really matter that it is selfish? Even Mother Theresa once said that she considered herself selfish because everything she did was to get closer to God.
I apologize for going on and on but I am very thankful for all of my old and new relationships. I am very happy to have surrounded myself with generous people that keep me inspired. I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and for those of you traveling please come home safely.

Losing My Ability to Express My Thoughts in More Than 140 Characters

I have not written in my blog for a long time now. I have had plenty of thoughts to write about but I am so used to using twitter that I express it in 140 characters or less and I am done. I really felt like I had to write about this because I felt like I am losing my ability to write. I think it all started when I decided I was going to write about my trials and tribulations and then all of a sudden writers block or just life got a little hectic. I am going to get back to this blog more often and hopefully contribute something meaningful that will inspire others to always keep pushing forward.

The Strangest Secret | The Strangest Secret

Enjoy this 3 minute video.
The Strangest Secret | The Strangest Secret

Going Down Memory Lane Is Like Driving While Looking In The Mirror.

 Alaina & Me

I recently got caught up cleaning my room and organizing my paperwork. It took a lot longer than I had planned because of all the old pictures I was coming across. This picture of Alaina and me was when she was around 2 1/2 years old. Her mother and I had just reconciled after our first separation. My poor baby has gone through the most out of all the children because she was the oldest and remembers most of the fights between her mother and I. I will always look at my baby girl the way I see her in this picture. 

I know a lot of fathers feel the same way about their daughters. This can also be a big problem. As we're so busy looking at our daughters as if they are babies they are growing up faster than we like. As men we forget that girls mature faster than boys. Their interest in boys is just something we don't want to talk about and as our girls fill out we fail to hug them because of that uncomfortable feeling of realizing that your baby is now a young woman. We're so focused on the way she used to be while time keeps moving forward. Similar to driving while staring in the rear view mirror, it's just a matter of time that you'll crash. 

As a single parent I've tried my best to keep things well balanced for my children. They will never have the excuse that I was absent from functions. I refuse to allow them the excuse that their mistakes are because their mom hasn't been there and when my ego is riding high I've told them that they are better off having me as a father than some kids are having both parents. I've also been told that I'm one of the cool dads but now I wonder if I was being played. I have tried to give my kids the freedom they need to make their own mistakes but I've also guided them every step and don't expect them to make certain mistakes. Time has convinced me that sometimes people don't believe you until they have made that same mistake themselves. My kids are no exception and so I've incorporated the ever famous phrase "I told you so". 

Teenage girls are a whole new species and I am definitely not an expert but I will share what I have learned so far. Back when I was a teen and started to like girls I would have to call them at home. Sometimes a parent or older sibling would answer the phone and so in a nervous tone I had to ask for permission to speak to the girl. Now most teenage girls have their own cell phones, emails, twitter, myspace, facebook and instant messenger accounts. Teenage boys don't have to go through what I went through to court a young lady. It's all easy access and most teenagers without adult supervision will push the envelope. Flirtations over text message and instant messenger programs are widely used by our teens that it's own phrase has been created, sexting. I also don't remember using such vulgar language especially if an adult was within earshot.

Recently I was shocked by my daughter and what I saw on her myspace account. I was lucky to catch it early enough thanks to having friends that are always looking out for the kids and myself. Her facebook account was very different from myspace but of course on facebook I was her friend. The internet allows people to take on different personalities and sometimes kids make themselves feel better by acting a certain way or what they think is socially acceptable amongst their friends. I have always talked to my daughter about character and if a certain action is questionable to pray on it. I have had her write about her experience and what exactly she was thinking. To make a long story short she liked the attention boys gave her by being a certain way. She did not think of the long term consequences such as college recruiters, employment recruiters, or even child predators reading what she was putting out there. Another thing she didn't think about was that the relationship with boys who liked her myspace account was only going to lead to one thing and it wouldn't be a relationship worth having. I gave her a lot of freedom and it was all based on trust. I regret not listening to Dr. Laura's advice against teens having these social networking accounts. I am now convinced that our kids need to learn how to socialize face to face and be who they really are and not be so quick to use their cell phones to text. I have cut off my daughter's phone and accounts. I might one day pick up a phone for emergency reasons only but it will not have text functions or a camera. For now she will always have change on her to use a pay phone. 

I was so caught up looking at my girl as my baby that I did not even think she was capable of speaking in a vulgar tone. I am still disappointed but at the same time happy that it was caught and I have been able to talk to her about the consequences. She didn't fight me on giving up her phone because she is more concerned at gaining my trust again. Well it's either that or she felt that I was going to beat her because I was so upset. I was able to keep my composure and I was amazed at how much she cried just from me telling her that I was disappointed and didn't trust her anymore. I like to encourage adopting changes to technology but I still believe there is so much more value in learning how older generations communicated and developing valuable relationships by being able to be yourself. God help our children and our parents to provide the proper guidance.

Learning to Dance In The Rain | Learning to Dance in the Rain Movie

Learning to Dance In The Rain | Learning to Dance in the Rain Movie

Forget The Lemons Just Give Me The Lemonade

Here's a link for a coupon to Corner Bakery Cafe. Free Pomegranate or Mango Frozen Lemonade with the purchase of a lunch or dinner entrée. Enjoy!

Free Lemonade