Recently my son took a spill at the skate park. I have always been tough on these kids and expect them to brush it off. Matthew did just that and didn't cry. Little did he know that after his second fall he had fractured both arms. He still waited patiently with his little brother while I ran some errands for work and took my daughter to a tournament. By the time I picked him up he told me about the fall and how his arms were starting to hurt. I thought he sprained it and what I was looking at was swelling. We iced and wrapped and then iced and wrapped some more. Two days later I tell him that the swelling is not going down and let's just get some x-rays on the left arm. The x-rays confirmed a fracture but we decided not to go to the emergency and wait until Monday.
Matthew was so tough and never complained about a thing. The doctor snapped his bone to make it straight and that was the only time Matthew shed a tear. The doctor looked at me and said "that's one tough boy". I guess he expected a lot more yelling.
In hindsight I feel really bad that we waited so long. I don't want to change how tough I am with them cause my role is to be a father. There mother should be the sensitive one and I feel bad that she's not around but I decided long ago that if I try to play both roles that I would fail. I push these kids to give everything 100% and to be accountable for all of their actions. The fact that he didn't cry scares me cause I wonder if he did that for me or if he really has a high tolerance for pain.
I know the purpose God has for me is to take care of these 3 kids and possibly take on more when these 3 are off in college. I try to be there for everything and sacrifice a lot of business. This is possible because of other people in my life that the kids and I are really grateful that they're in our lives. I hope and pray that the kids notice that everything I do is out of an unconditional love I have for them. I pray for guidance and patience so that I can raise these 3 to reach their full potential. I guess once in a while I just need to remember to take a break and give them a hug.