Going Down Memory Lane Is Like Driving While Looking In The Mirror.

 Alaina & Me

I recently got caught up cleaning my room and organizing my paperwork. It took a lot longer than I had planned because of all the old pictures I was coming across. This picture of Alaina and me was when she was around 2 1/2 years old. Her mother and I had just reconciled after our first separation. My poor baby has gone through the most out of all the children because she was the oldest and remembers most of the fights between her mother and I. I will always look at my baby girl the way I see her in this picture. 

I know a lot of fathers feel the same way about their daughters. This can also be a big problem. As we're so busy looking at our daughters as if they are babies they are growing up faster than we like. As men we forget that girls mature faster than boys. Their interest in boys is just something we don't want to talk about and as our girls fill out we fail to hug them because of that uncomfortable feeling of realizing that your baby is now a young woman. We're so focused on the way she used to be while time keeps moving forward. Similar to driving while staring in the rear view mirror, it's just a matter of time that you'll crash. 

As a single parent I've tried my best to keep things well balanced for my children. They will never have the excuse that I was absent from functions. I refuse to allow them the excuse that their mistakes are because their mom hasn't been there and when my ego is riding high I've told them that they are better off having me as a father than some kids are having both parents. I've also been told that I'm one of the cool dads but now I wonder if I was being played. I have tried to give my kids the freedom they need to make their own mistakes but I've also guided them every step and don't expect them to make certain mistakes. Time has convinced me that sometimes people don't believe you until they have made that same mistake themselves. My kids are no exception and so I've incorporated the ever famous phrase "I told you so". 

Teenage girls are a whole new species and I am definitely not an expert but I will share what I have learned so far. Back when I was a teen and started to like girls I would have to call them at home. Sometimes a parent or older sibling would answer the phone and so in a nervous tone I had to ask for permission to speak to the girl. Now most teenage girls have their own cell phones, emails, twitter, myspace, facebook and instant messenger accounts. Teenage boys don't have to go through what I went through to court a young lady. It's all easy access and most teenagers without adult supervision will push the envelope. Flirtations over text message and instant messenger programs are widely used by our teens that it's own phrase has been created, sexting. I also don't remember using such vulgar language especially if an adult was within earshot.

Recently I was shocked by my daughter and what I saw on her myspace account. I was lucky to catch it early enough thanks to having friends that are always looking out for the kids and myself. Her facebook account was very different from myspace but of course on facebook I was her friend. The internet allows people to take on different personalities and sometimes kids make themselves feel better by acting a certain way or what they think is socially acceptable amongst their friends. I have always talked to my daughter about character and if a certain action is questionable to pray on it. I have had her write about her experience and what exactly she was thinking. To make a long story short she liked the attention boys gave her by being a certain way. She did not think of the long term consequences such as college recruiters, employment recruiters, or even child predators reading what she was putting out there. Another thing she didn't think about was that the relationship with boys who liked her myspace account was only going to lead to one thing and it wouldn't be a relationship worth having. I gave her a lot of freedom and it was all based on trust. I regret not listening to Dr. Laura's advice against teens having these social networking accounts. I am now convinced that our kids need to learn how to socialize face to face and be who they really are and not be so quick to use their cell phones to text. I have cut off my daughter's phone and accounts. I might one day pick up a phone for emergency reasons only but it will not have text functions or a camera. For now she will always have change on her to use a pay phone. 

I was so caught up looking at my girl as my baby that I did not even think she was capable of speaking in a vulgar tone. I am still disappointed but at the same time happy that it was caught and I have been able to talk to her about the consequences. She didn't fight me on giving up her phone because she is more concerned at gaining my trust again. Well it's either that or she felt that I was going to beat her because I was so upset. I was able to keep my composure and I was amazed at how much she cried just from me telling her that I was disappointed and didn't trust her anymore. I like to encourage adopting changes to technology but I still believe there is so much more value in learning how older generations communicated and developing valuable relationships by being able to be yourself. God help our children and our parents to provide the proper guidance.

Learning to Dance In The Rain | Learning to Dance in the Rain Movie

Learning to Dance In The Rain | Learning to Dance in the Rain Movie

Forget The Lemons Just Give Me The Lemonade

Here's a link for a coupon to Corner Bakery Cafe. Free Pomegranate or Mango Frozen Lemonade with the purchase of a lunch or dinner entrée. Enjoy!

Free Lemonade

Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! | Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! Movie

For all of you beautiful women. Enjoy!
Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! | Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! Movie

Nature's Inspiration | Nature's Inspriation Movie

iNature's Inspiration | Nature's Inspriation Movie

As many of you begin your so called dreaded Monday. Take 4 minutes of your day to watch this movie. Enjoy nature's inspiration and you'll see that this week will be a great one for you.

Change is Good... You Go First | The Change Is Good Movie

A little movie for those of you managing people or even trying to manage your family. Yes sometimes the principles in business can be used in your family or vice versa. Enjoy!
Change is Good... You Go First | The Change Is Good Movie

Can The Kids Tell That I Love Them?

Recently my son took a spill at the skate park. I have always been tough on these kids and expect them to brush it off. Matthew did just that and didn't cry. Little did he know that after his second fall he had fractured both arms. He still waited patiently with his little brother while I ran some errands for work and took my daughter to a tournament. By the time I picked him up he told me about the fall and how his arms were starting to hurt. I thought he sprained it and what I was looking at was swelling. We iced and wrapped and then iced and wrapped some more. Two days later I tell him that the swelling is not going down and let's just get some x-rays on the left arm. The x-rays confirmed a fracture but we decided not to go to the emergency and wait until Monday.

Matthew was so tough and never complained about a thing. The doctor snapped his bone to make it straight and that was the only time Matthew shed a tear. The doctor looked at me and said "that's one tough boy". I guess he expected a lot more yelling. 

In hindsight I feel really bad that we waited so long. I don't want to change how tough I am with them cause my role is to be a father. There mother should be the sensitive one and I feel bad that she's not around but I decided long ago that if I try to play both roles that I would fail. I push these kids to give everything 100% and to be accountable for all of their actions. The fact that he didn't cry scares me cause I wonder if he did that for me or if he really has a high tolerance for pain. 

I know the purpose God has for me is to take care of these 3 kids and possibly take on more when these 3 are off in college. I try to be there for everything and sacrifice a lot of business. This is possible because of other people in my life that the kids and I are really grateful that they're in our lives. I hope and pray that the kids notice that everything I do is out of an unconditional love I have for them. I pray for guidance and patience so that I can raise these 3 to reach their full potential. I guess once in a while I just need to remember to take a break and give them a hug.